So life has been quite the whirlwind lately. Summer has kicked off and with that is the busyness that is the summer. Playing an onslaught of sports, featuring monday and thursday ultimate, friday slo-pitch and a weekend of softball. Tack on small group on tuesdays and I'm pretty much just left with wednesdays as my only "open day". It's been exhausting to be on the go seemingly everyday. That said, aside from the busyness, life itself has been quite the intriguing... with many new turns and unexpected surprises.
Anyway, now that obligatory update is out of the way... I've been thinking lots as of late and I realize that I really hate being in the dark about things. I hate not knowing. I believe it's the control freak in me... the risk averse side of me... that just has this inherent need to know. I find great comfort and security in knowing what's going on, what's happening, why things are happening, and what the next steps are... and well, frankly, even more comfort in knowing what the result is. But the reality is, sometimes we don't know what's going on, or why things are the way they are, and know even less about what the next steps are. I've been trying to have the "take things as they come" mentality... but for a risk averse control freak, that's quite the task and hurdle. I often have to remind myself to not overanalyze and not get too far ahead of myself.
And I know that lots of people would say that I need to "trust in God" and it's not that I'm not or that I don't... it's moreso that I find even though I'm trying to let it go and leave it in God's hands, my need to know still doesn't get curbed and I end up fretting and unsettled because I'm still in the dark. Not really sure how to change this quality. Perhaps it's a matter of being comfortable being in the dark. No idea how to achieve this, but that's basically what's been on my mind as of late.
Somewhat related in a way... another quote that I picked up from the intelligent people I work with: